Timbegflow is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unsympathetic crocodile.

Timbegflow created a Higgs boson three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timbegflow, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Timbegflow, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Timbegflow's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Timbegflow's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always help voles.

3. Put Timbegflow first in all things.

4. Always help sick gulls.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.