Arpbinmip is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, flying spider.

Arpbinmip created the Large Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Arpbinmip, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Arpbinmip, she will boil you in a big pot.

Arpbinmip's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Arpbinmip's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Arpbinmip loves otters, so they must be honoured.

3. You must pray to Arpbinmip seven times a day.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Run away if five aardvarks approach from the north.