Cepfum is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, duplicitous goat.

Cepfum created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepfum, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cepfum, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Cepfum's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Cepfum's Holy Commandments

1. Cepfum loves pigs, so they must be respected.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Cepfum loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not covet oxen.