Hinxucstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, calm chinchilla.

Hinxucstaf created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hinxucstaf, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hinxucstaf, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Hinxucstaf's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Hinxucstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Hinxucstaf must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Run away if four mites approach from the south.