Nigmutquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, selfish hare.

Nigmutquaf created snails twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nigmutquaf, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nigmutquaf, she will remove you from existence.

Nigmutquaf's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Nigmutquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always help sick monkeys.

5. Always wear white.