Xemnulljarndit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, blissful crane.

Xemnulljarndit created the Whirlpool Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Xemnulljarndit, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Xemnulljarndit, he will cry a lot.

Xemnulljarndit's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Xemnulljarndit's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Hide from white frogs for they are unholy.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xemnulljarndit.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.