Cussbestkan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, unthinking toad.

Cussbestkan created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cussbestkan, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cussbestkan, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Cussbestkan's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Cussbestkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not dye your hair brown.

3. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

4. Never hurt whales.

5. Never talk about monkeys.