Nurlfosshas is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, unthoughtful tortoise.

Nurlfosshas created the cosmos nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nurlfosshas, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurlfosshas, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Nurlfosshas' most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Nurlfosshas' Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine cats approach from the south.

2. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. You must pray to Nurlfosshas seven times a day.

5. Do not listen to music.