Bepsas Paslakquag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, proud centaur.

Bepsas Paslakquag created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepsas Paslakquag, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bepsas Paslakquag, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Bepsas Paslakquag's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Bepsas Paslakquag's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never sit in the presence of sharks.

5. Do not commit murder.