Gedquafbaf is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, self-assured troll.

Gedquafbaf created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gedquafbaf, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gedquafbaf, she will turn you into a worm.

Gedquafbaf's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Gedquafbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill hamsters.

2. Always obey Gedquafbaf's priests.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Gedquafbaf on top of all buildings.

4. Never sing near dolphins.

5. Never think about planets.