Poncudflis is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, stupid guinea pig.

Poncudflis created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Poncudflis, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Poncudflis, he will cry a lot.

Poncudflis' most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Poncudflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never wear black boots.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

5. Rats are not to be trusted.