Gofdudrip is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, stupid narwhal.

Gofdudrip created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Gofdudrip, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gofdudrip, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gofdudrip's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Gofdudrip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

2. Never hurt squirrels.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Retreat if six ducks approach from the north.