Sognurtvil is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unjust manatee.

Sognurtvil created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sognurtvil, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sognurtvil, it will turn you into a worm.

Sognurtvil's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Sognurtvil's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured ducks.

2. Sognurtvil loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. You must love Sognurtvil.