Hatzakmis is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, blissful raccoon.

Hatzakmis created viruses three million years ago.

If you believe in Hatzakmis, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hatzakmis, it will laugh at you.

Hatzakmis' most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Hatzakmis' Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hatzakmis.

3. Never mention snakes.

4. Hatzakmis must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.