Fatnarlnak is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, charitable dove.

Fatnarlnak created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fatnarlnak, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fatnarlnak, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fatnarlnak's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Fatnarlnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eagles.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not hurt mice.

4. Fatnarlnak loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not kill manatees.