Nurtkadvab is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, self-confident dove.

Nurtkadvab created everything that exists six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtkadvab, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nurtkadvab, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Nurtkadvab's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Nurtkadvab's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Nurtkadvab.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. You must never eat wheat.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.