Stigrotmum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, idiotic elephant.

Stigrotmum created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stigrotmum, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Stigrotmum, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Stigrotmum's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Stigrotmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Put Stigrotmum first in all things.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.