Tom is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, annoying lion.

Tom created a top quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tom, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tom, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Tom's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Tom's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never go into yellow rooms.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Hide if four hamsters approach from the north.