Gupartquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, happy lion.

Gupartquaf created the cosmos three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gupartquaf, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gupartquaf, she will come to you in dreams.

Gupartquaf's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Gupartquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gupartquaf.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never talk about great tits.

5. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.