Flisquimpig is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, compassionate cat.

Flisquimpig created the universe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flisquimpig, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Flisquimpig, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Flisquimpig's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Flisquimpig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises in need.

2. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

3. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

5. Never think about cell theory.