Ortrullpopcusshabbifdum is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, almighty aardvark.

Ortrullpopcusshabbifdum created time and space eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortrullpopcusshabbifdum, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ortrullpopcusshabbifdum, she will be very unhappy.

Ortrullpopcusshabbifdum's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Ortrullpopcusshabbifdum's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Erect four zinc sculptures of Ortrullpopcusshabbifdum on top of important buildings.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.