Hivhogpon is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, capable aardvark.

Hivhogpon created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Hivhogpon, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hivhogpon, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Hivhogpon's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Hivhogpon's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Hivhogpon.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never feed spinach to geese while wearing mauve jumpers.

5. Never hurt rats.