Quamtofgessbadnelbap is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, dishonourable weasel.

Quamtofgessbadnelbap created the planet Mars three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamtofgessbadnelbap, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quamtofgessbadnelbap, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Quamtofgessbadnelbap's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Quamtofgessbadnelbap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured monkeys.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never go into gray rooms.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never wear kilts.