Yarpcutdob is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, tiresome seal.

Yarpcutdob created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpcutdob, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarpcutdob, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Yarpcutdob's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Yarpcutdob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always treat moths with great respect.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never talk about stars.