Safspaggilfebyamwitfutvag is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, egotistical tapir.

Safspaggilfebyamwitfutvag created the planet Saturn three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Safspaggilfebyamwitfutvag, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Safspaggilfebyamwitfutvag, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Safspaggilfebyamwitfutvag's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Safspaggilfebyamwitfutvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Run away from blue snails, for they are unholy.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Hamsters are not to be trusted.