Cabrulbansannull is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, idiotic salamander.

Cabrulbansannull created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cabrulbansannull, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cabrulbansannull, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Cabrulbansannull's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Cabrulbansannull's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry goats.

2. Never mention porpoises.

3. Do not speak about aubergines.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Always pray immersed in water.