Ligtalbom Fitlakdin is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, temperamental dove.

Ligtalbom Fitlakdin created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Ligtalbom Fitlakdin, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ligtalbom Fitlakdin, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ligtalbom Fitlakdin's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Ligtalbom Fitlakdin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Never sit in the presence of doves.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always wear yellow.