Loplagflig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, annoying goose.

Loplagflig created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loplagflig, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Loplagflig, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Loplagflig's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Loplagflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near rats.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always look after injured eagles.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must never eat figs.