Gumflapbess is a god.
He takes the form of a minute, caring
lion.
Gumflapbess created tapeworms two thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Gumflapbess, he will grant you immortality.
If you do not believe in
Gumflapbess, he will turn you into a giant snail.
Gumflapbess' most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.
Gumflapbess' Holy Commandments1. Always take life seriously.
2. Do not wear nickel on your body.
3. Do not take Gumflapbess' name in vain.
4. Worship no other gods but Gumflapbess.
5. Respect your elders.