Kapwabmit is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, grumpy deer.

Kapwabmit created light six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapwabmit, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kapwabmit, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kapwabmit's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Kapwabmit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kapwabmit.

4. Do not hurt birds.

5. Never skip in holy places.