Hamtargdud is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ruthless jellyfish.

Hamtargdud created dark matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamtargdud, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hamtargdud, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Hamtargdud's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Hamtargdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Always wear black.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Hamtargdud must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never paint your back orange.