Jophadbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, overgenerous chicken.

Jophadbonk created a top quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jophadbonk, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jophadbonk, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Jophadbonk's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Jophadbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick foxes.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Retreat if five voles approach from the north.

5. Do not make images of living things.