Govsadfen is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, dishonest walrus.

Govsadfen created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Govsadfen, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Govsadfen, he will turn you into a puffin.

Govsadfen's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Govsadfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about badgers.

2. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never feed cucumbers to porpoises while wearing violet hats.

5. Never write about nebulae.