Godmonjin is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, contented shark.

Godmonjin created the universe six million years ago.

If you believe in Godmonjin, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Godmonjin, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Godmonjin's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Godmonjin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bananas.

2. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

3. Godmonjin loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

4. Godmonjin must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Godmonjin.