Batlopnutt Homfed is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, sapient raccoon.

Batlopnutt Homfed created dark matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batlopnutt Homfed, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Batlopnutt Homfed, he will torture you forever.

Batlopnutt Homfed's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Batlopnutt Homfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.