Danpibcat Quimsaglarpcat is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, two-faced chicken.

Danpibcat Quimsaglarpcat created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Danpibcat Quimsaglarpcat, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Danpibcat Quimsaglarpcat, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Danpibcat Quimsaglarpcat's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Danpibcat Quimsaglarpcat's Holy Commandments

1. Danpibcat Quimsaglarpcat loves doves, so they must be honoured.

2. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.