Lanrawlidcud Rutwatquim is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, egotistical goose.

Lanrawlidcud Rutwatquim created a photon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanrawlidcud Rutwatquim, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lanrawlidcud Rutwatquim, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Lanrawlidcud Rutwatquim's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Lanrawlidcud Rutwatquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt goats.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not kill otters.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lanrawlidcud Rutwatquim.

5. Fast once a month.