Fabcabgar Wapcutget is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, charitable yak.

Fabcabgar Wapcutget created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fabcabgar Wapcutget, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fabcabgar Wapcutget, he will ignore you.

Fabcabgar Wapcutget's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Fabcabgar Wapcutget's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never mention bats.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not kill tortoises.