Kinshavtafcin is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, overgenerous walrus.

Kinshavtafcin created an atom five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kinshavtafcin, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kinshavtafcin, it will turn you into a sheep.

Kinshavtafcin's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Kinshavtafcin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Kinshavtafcin loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

3. Never talk about monkeys.

4. Never eat grapes.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.