Gilpogyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, contented yak.

Gilpogyarl created a quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Gilpogyarl, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gilpogyarl, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gilpogyarl's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Gilpogyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo badgers for they are unholy.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not eat garlic.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gilpogyarl.