Yakriggadkenrawquatgoncad is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, blissful octopus.

Yakriggadkenrawquatgoncad created the planet Mars seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakriggadkenrawquatgoncad, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yakriggadkenrawquatgoncad, he will turn you into a tree.

Yakriggadkenrawquatgoncad's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Yakriggadkenrawquatgoncad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick snails.

2. Never jump in the presence of aardvarks.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Squirrels are not to be trusted.