Jarncipzan is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, happy crow.

Jarncipzan created energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarncipzan, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jarncipzan, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Jarncipzan's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Jarncipzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Always treat birds with great respect.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Worship no other gods but Jarncipzan.

5. Never think ill of sick great tits.