Farnlooppit is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, prudent porpoise.

Farnlooppit created the planet Venus five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnlooppit, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Farnlooppit, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Farnlooppit's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Farnlooppit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. Do not eat rice.