Gigcummab is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, selfish dog.

Gigcummab created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gigcummab, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gigcummab, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Gigcummab's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Gigcummab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Put Gigcummab first in all things.

3. Erect seven copper sculptures of Gigcummab on top of important buildings.

4. You must love Gigcummab.

5. Never bounce near ducks.