Bumfligfas is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, competent seal.

Bumfligfas created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bumfligfas, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bumfligfas, it will turn you into a puffin.

Bumfligfas' most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Bumfligfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to birds while wearing pink shoes.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always pray immersed in water.