Bumtaffed is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, stupid dog.

Bumtaffed created the Virgo Supercluster two million years ago.

If you believe in Bumtaffed, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bumtaffed, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bumtaffed's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Bumtaffed's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never go into gray rooms.

3. Always help turtles.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.