Narlmanstaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, fussy cobra.

Narlmanstaf created oxygen five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlmanstaf, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Narlmanstaf, he will turn you into a slug.

Narlmanstaf's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Narlmanstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always look after injured manatees.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.