Nartdotquam is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, able owl.

Nartdotquam created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nartdotquam, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nartdotquam, she will turn you into a sheep.

Nartdotquam's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Nartdotquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Worship no other gods but Nartdotquam.

5. Do not chop down trees.