Fadbenwan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, weak warg.

Fadbenwan created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fadbenwan, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fadbenwan, it will turn you into a rat.

Fadbenwan's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Fadbenwan's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

2. Retreat if six eagles approach from the east.

3. Run away from pink birds, for they are unholy.

4. Never skip near sheep.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fadbenwan.