Cussmapbodlopsigmum is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, smart gerbil.

Cussmapbodlopsigmum created the Sunflower Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cussmapbodlopsigmum, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cussmapbodlopsigmum, it will turn you into a rock.

Cussmapbodlopsigmum's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Cussmapbodlopsigmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat melons.

2. Worship no other gods but Cussmapbodlopsigmum.

3. Never hurt aardvarks.

4. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

5. Nematodes are not to be trusted.